Such qualities, in her directed to good ends, in lesser women have
made them infamous. Once that day Alixe said to me, breaking off as
her story went on, "Oh, Robert, when I see what power I have to
dissimulate--for it is that, call it by what name you will--when I
see how I enjoy accomplishing against all difficulty, how I can
blind even so skilled a diplomatist as Monsieur Doltaire, I almost
tremble. I see how, if God had not given me something here"--she
placed her hand upon her heart--"that saves me, I might be like
Madame Cournal, and far worse, far worse than she. For I love
power--I do love it; I can see that!"
She did not realize that it was her strict honesty with herself
that was her true safeguard.
But here is the story she told me:
"When I left you, last night, I went at once to my home, and was
glad to get in without being seen. At nine o'clock we were to be
at the Chateau, and while my sister Georgette was helping me with
my toilette--oh, how I wished she would go and leave me quite
alone!--my head was in a whirl, and now and then I could feel
my heart draw and shake like a half-choked pump, and there was
a strange pain behind my eyes.
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