My eyes seemed to search for it also, and to find it in the torch
which stuck out, softly sputtering, from the wall. I do not
pretend, even at this distance of time, after having thought much
over the thing, to give any good reason for so sudden a change as
took place in me there. All at once a voice appeared to say to me,
"When you are gone, she will be Doltaire's. Remember what she said.
She fears him. He has a power over her."
Now, some will set it down to a low, unmanly jealousy and suspicion;
it is hard to name it, but I know that I was seized with a misery so
deep that all my past sufferings and disappointments, and even this
present horror were shadowy beside it. I pictured to myself Alixe in
Doltaire's arms, after I had gone beyond human call. It is strange
how an idea will seize us and master us, and an inconspicuous
possibility suddenly stand out with huge distinctness. All at once I
felt in my head "the ring of fire" of which Mathilde had warned me,
a maddening heat filled my veins, and that hateful picture grew more
vivid. Things Alixe had said the night before flashed to my mind,
and I fancied that, unknown to herself even, he already had a
substantial power over her.
Pages:
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207