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Peacock, Thomas Love, 1785-1866

"Nightmare Abbey"



FATOUT
De odd fish! Ah, oui! I understand de phrase: ve have seen nothing
else since ve left town--ma foi!

THE HONOURABLE MR LISTLESS
You seem to have a cup too much, sir.

FATOUT
Non, monsieur: de cup too little. De fen be very unwholesome, and I
drink-a-de ponch vid Raven de butler, to keep out de bad air.

THE HONOURABLE MR LISTLESS
Fatout! I insist on your being sober.

FATOUT
Oui, monsieur; I vil be as sober as de reverendissime pere Jean. I
should be ver glad of de merry maid; but de butler be de odd fish,
and he swim in de bowl de ponch. Ah! ah! I do recollect de leetle-a
song:--'About fair maids, and about fair maids, and about my merry
maids all.' (_Fatout reeled out, singing_.)

THE HONOURABLE MR LISTLESS
I am overwhelmed: I never saw the rascal in such a condition before.
But will you allow me, Mr Asterias, to inquire into the _cui bono_ of
all the pains and expense you have incurred to discover a mermaid? The
_cui bono_, sir, is the question I always take the liberty to ask when
I see any one taking much trouble for any object. I am myself a sort
of Signor Pococurante, and should like to know if there be any thing
better or pleasanter, than the state of existing and doing nothing?

MR ASTERIAS
I have made many voyages, Mr Listless, to remote and barren shores:
I have travelled over desert and inhospitable lands: I have defied
danger--I have endured fatigue--I have submitted to privation.


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