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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"The Philanderer"

Within these walls a father's
influence counts for nothing.
CRAVEN. May I ask the ground of complaint, Mrs. Tranfield?
GRACE. Simply that Miss Craven is essentially a womanly woman, and, as
such, not eligible for membership.
JULIA. It's false. I'm not a womanly woman. I was guaranteed when I
joined just as you were.
GRACE. By Mr. Charteris, I think, at your own request. I shall call
him as a witness to your thoroughly womanly conduct just now in his
presence and Dr. Paramore's.
CRAVEN. Cuthbertson: are they joking; or am I dreaming?
CUTHBERTSON (grimly). It's real, Dan: you're awake.
SYLVIA (taking Craven's left arm and hugging it affectionately). Dear
old Rip Van Winkle!
CRAVEN. Well, Mrs. Tranfield, all I can say is that I hope you will
succeed in establishing your complaint, and that Julia may soon see
the last of this most outrageous institution. (Sylvia, still caressing
his arm, laughs at him; Charteris returns.)
CHARTERIS (at the door). May I come in?
SYLVIA (releasing the Colonel). Yes: you're wanted here as a witness.
(Charteris comes in.) It's a bad case of womanliness.


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