Figure to yourself all the contradictions, all the
inconsistencies possible, and you may meet with them in the
government, the courts of justice, the churches, and the public
spectacles of this odd nation."
"Is it true," said Candide, "that the people of Paris are always
laughing?"
"Yes," replied the abbe, "but it is with anger in their hearts; they
express all their complaints by loud bursts of laughter, and commit
the most detestable crimes with a smile on their faces."
"Who was that great overgrown beast," said Candide, "who spoke so
ill to me of the piece with which I was so much affected, and of the
players who gave me so much pleasure?"
"A very good-for-nothing sort of a man I assure you," answered the
abbe, "one who gets his livelihood by abusing every new book and
play that is written or performed; he dislikes much to see anyone meet
with success, like eunuchs, who detest everyone that possesses those
powers they are deprived of; he is one of those vipers in literature
who nourish themselves with their own venom; a pamphlet-monger."
"A pamphlet-manger!" said Candide, "what is that?"
"Why, a pamphlet-manger," replied the abbe, "is a writer of
pamphlets-a fool."
Candide, Martin, and the abbe of Perigord argued thus on the
staircase, while they stood to see the people go out of the playhouse.
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