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Voltaire

"Candide"

But this
horrible repast soon failing them, they next determined to devour
the women.
"We had a very pious and humane man, who gave them a most
excellent sermon on this occasion, exhorting them not to kill us all
at once. 'Cut off only one of the buttocks of each of those ladies,'
said he, 'and you will fare extremely well; if you are under the
necessity of having recourse to the same expedient again, you will
find the like supply a few days hence. Heaven will approve of so
charitable an action, and work your deliverance.'
"By the force of this eloquence he easily persuaded them, and all of
us underwent the operation. The man applied the same balsam as they do
to children after circumcision. We were all ready to give up the
ghost.
"The Janissaries had scarcely time to finish the repast with which
we had supplied them, when the Russians attacked the place by means of
flat-bottomed boats, and not a single janissary escaped. The
Russians paid no regard to the condition we were in; but there are
French surgeons in all parts of the world, and one of them took us
under his care, and cured us. I shall never forget, while I live, that
as soon as my wounds were perfectly healed he made me certain
proposals. In general, he desired us all to be of a good cheer,
assuring us that the like had happened in many sieges; and that it was
perfectly agreeable to the laws of war.


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