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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Under the Deodars"

'The holy state of matrimony!' Ha! ha! ha!
He. Ssh! Don't laugh in that horrible way!
She. I I c-c-c-can't help it! Isn't it too absurd! Ah! Ha! ha! ha! Guy,
stop me quick or I shall l-l-laugh till we get to the Church.
He. For goodness sake, stop! Don't make an exhibition of yourself.
What is the matter with you?
She. N-nothing. I'm better now.
He. That's all right. One moment, dear. There's a little wisp of hair
got loose from behind your right ear and it's straggling over your
cheek. So!
She. Thank'oo. I'm 'fraid my hat's on one side, too.
He. What do you wear these huge dagger bonnet-skewers for?
They're big enough to kill a man with.
She. Oh! don't kill me, though. You're sticking it into my head! Let
me do it. You men are so clumsy.
He. Have you had many opportunities of comparing us in this sort
of work?
She. Guy, what is my name?
He. Eh! I don't follow.
She. Here's my card-case. Can you read?
He. Yes. Well?
She. Well, that answers your question. You know the other's man's
name. Am I sufficiently humbled, or would you like to ask me if
there is any one else?
He. I see now. My darling, I never meant that for an instant. I was
only joking. There! Lucky there's no one on the road. They'd be
scandalised.
She. They'll be more scandalised before the end.
He. Do-on't! I don't like you to talk in that way.


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