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Carleton, William, 1794-1869

"Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of William Carleton, Volume Three"


Mr. O'Connor, however, was a man of sense, who knew, upon this
principle, that the longer he continued to shake his head, the more
miserable he must become, and the more also would he increase Neal's
happiness; but he had no intention of increasing Neal's happiness at
his own expense--for, upon the same hypothesis, it would have been for
Neal's interest had he remained shaking his head there, and getting
miserable until the day of judgment. He consequently declined giving the
third shake, for he thought that plain conversation was, after all,
more significant and forcible than the most eloquent nod, however ably
translated.
"Neal," said he, "could you, by stretching your imagination, contrive to
rest contented with nursing your passion in solitude, and love the sex
at a distance?"
"How could I nurse and mind my business?" replied the tailor. I'll never
nurse so long as I'll have the wife; and as for imagination it depends
upon the grain of it, whether I can stretch it or not. I don't know that
I ever made a coat of it in my life."
"You don't understand me, Neal," said the schoolmaster. "In recommending
marriage, I was only driving one evil out of you by introducing another.
Do you think that, if you abandoned all thoughts of a wife, you would
get heroic again?--that is, would you, take once more to the love of
fighting?"
"There is no doubt but I would," said the tailor: "If I miss the wife,
I'll kick up such a dust as never was seen in the parish, an' you're
the first man that I'll lick.


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