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Carleton, William, 1794-1869

"Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of William Carleton, Volume Three"

No. By him
who was breeches-maker to the gods--that is, except, like Highlanders,
they eschewed inexpressibles--by him who cut Jupiter's frieze jocks for
winter, and eke by the bottom of his thimble, we swear, that Neal Malone
was more than the ninth part of a man!
Setting aside the Patagonians, we maintain that two-thirds of mortal
humanity were comprised in Neal; and, perhaps, we might venture to
assert, that two-thirds of Neal's humanity were equal to six-thirds of
another man's. It is right well known that Alexander the Great was a
little man, and we doubt whether, had Alexander the Great been bred to
the tailoring business, he would have exhibited so much of the hero
as Neal Malone. Neal was descended from a fighting family, who had
signalized themselves in as many battles as ever any single hero
of antiquity fought. His father, his grandfather, and his great
grandfather, were all fighting men, and his ancestors in general, up,
probably, to Con of the Hundred Battles himself. No wonder, therefore,
that Neal's blood should cry out against the cowardice of his calling;
no wonder that he should be an epitome of all that was valorous and
heroic in a peaceable man, for we neglected to inform the reader that
Neal, though "bearing no base mind," never fought any man in his own
person. That, however, deducted nothing from his courage.


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