"
"Begad, Phelim's gettin' over the coals. But sure it's all the way the
father an' mother reared him."
"Tunder-an'-trff, is he goin' to be called to a pair o' them?"
"Faix, so it seems."
"Oh, the divil's clip! Is he mad? But let us hear it out."
"The third damsel is by no means so, well adapted for Phelim as either
of the other two. What she could have seen in him is another problem
much more difficult than the one I have mentioned. I would advise her
to reconsider the subject, and let Phelim have the full benefit of the
attention she may bestow upon it. If she finds the 'Patriarch' possessed
of any one virtue, except necessity, I will admit that it is pretty
certain that she will soon discover the longitude, and that has puzzled
the most learned men of the world. If she marries this 'Patriarch', I
think the angels who may visit him will come in the shape of policemen;
and that Phelim, so long as he can find a cudgel, will give them
anything but a patriarchal reception, is another thing of which we may
rest pretty certain.
"I. now publish the bans of matrimony between Phelim O'Toole of
Teernarogarah, and Bridget Doran of Dernascobe. If any person knows of
any impediment why these two should not be joined in wedlock, they are
bound to declare it.
"This Bridget Doran, my friends, is no other than my old housekeeper;
but when, where, or how, Phelim could have won upon her juvenile
affections is one of those mysteries which is never to be explained.
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