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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 19, 1891"


Though your voice may sound loud and your thews look immense,
_You_ may fall to the THESEUS--of Free Common Sense!
As BURT says--and his eloquence moves but beguiles not--
On short cuts to Millennium Providence smiles not!
[Footnote 1: LUCIAN's _Dialogues of the Dead_.]
* * * * *
APPROPRIATE LOCATION.--"Yes," said a friend of the person they were
discussing, "he is a great traveller, and tells you some of the most
marvellous stories." "Where does he live?" was the question. And the
very natural answer was, "Oh, in some out-and-out-lying district."
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE MODERN "BED OF PROCRUSTES."
PROCRUSTES. "NOW THEN, YOU FELLOWS; I MEAN TO FIT YOU ALL TO MY LITTLE
BED!"
CHORUS. "OH LOR-R!!"
["It is impossible to establish universal uniformity of hours without
inflicting very serious injury to workers."--_Motion at the recent
Trades' Congress._]]
* * * * *
THE BITTER CRY OF THE OUTCAST CHOIR-BOY.
[Illustration]
Break, break, break,
O voice, on my old top C!
And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me!
O, well for the fishmonger's boy
That he shrieks his two notes above A.


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