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Marryat, Frederick, 1792-1848

"Monsieur Violet"

It
would make no difference, even if both his arms and legs were cut off."
"Could you restore him, if his head had been cut off?"
"Certainly we could!"
"Well," said the farmer, with a quiet smile upon his features "I do not
doubt the truth of what such holy men assert; but I am desirous that my
neighbours here should be fully converted, by having the miracle
performed in the completest manner possible. So, by your leave, if it
makes no difference whatever, I will proceed to cut off the head of
this corpse."
Accordingly, he produced a huge and well-sharpened broad axe from
beneath his coat, which he swung above his head, and was, apparently,
about to bring it down upon the neck of the corpse, when, lo and behold!
to the amazement of all present, the dead man started up in great
agitation, and swore that, "by hell and jingo," he would not have his
head cut off, in any consideration whatever!
The company immediately seized the Mormons, and soon made them confess
that the pretended dead man was also a Mormon elder, and that they had
sent him to the farmer's house, with directions to die there at a
particular hour, when they would drop in, as if by accident, and perform
a miracle that would astonish everybody. The farmer, after giving the
impostors a severe chastisement, let them depart to practise their
_humbug_ in some other quarter.


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