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Marryat, Frederick, 1792-1848

"Monsieur Violet"

I
have to remark here, that kerchief-taking is a most common joke in
Texas, and I wonder very much at it, as no individual of the male
species, in that promised land, will ever apply that commodity to its
right use, employing for that purpose the pair of snuffers which natural
instinct has supplied him with. At the same time, it must be admitted
that no professional man can expect employment, without he can flourish
a pocket-handkerchief.
As for the divine, he soon found that religion was not a commodity
required in so young a country, and that he might just as well have
speculated in sending a cargo of skates to the West Indies, or supplying
Mussulmans with swine. The merits of the voluntary system had not been
yet appreciated in Texas; and if he did preach, he had to preach by
himself, not being able to obtain a clerk to make the responses.
As we travelled along the dreary prairies, these five Eldorado seekers
proved to be jovial fellows, and there was about them an elasticity of
temper which did not allow them to despond. The divine had made up his
mind to go to Rome, and convert the Pope, who, after all, was a clever
old _bon vivant_; the doctor would go to Edinburgh, and get selected,
from his superior skill, as president of the Surgical College; one of
the lawyers determined he would "run for legislature," or keep a bar (a
whisky one); the second wished to join the Mormons, who were a set of
clever blackguards; and the third thought of going to China, to teach
the celestial brother of the sun to use the Kentucky rifle and "brush
the English.


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