Credit was good, employment was never
wanting, and on all hands there was no lack of either money or
good-will. But, as I was saying, we soon began to feel the effects
of liberty and long speeches, and radicalism, and all that sort of
thing. People who were formerly, the very best customers in the world,
had now not a moment of time to think of us at all. They had, so
they said, as much as they could do to read about the revolutions, and
keep up with the march of intellect and the spirit of the age. If a
fire wanted fanning, it could readily be fanned with a newspaper,
and as the government grew weaker, I have no doubt that leather and
iron acquired durability in proportion, for, in a very short time,
there was not a pair of bellows in all Rotterdam that ever stood in
need of a stitch or required the assistance of a hammer. This was a
state of things not to be endured. I soon grew as poor as a rat,
and, having a wife and children to provide for, my burdens at length
became intolerable, and I spent hour after hour in reflecting upon the
most convenient method of putting an end to my life.
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