"We women find a strong,
demanding master, and we think that because of his strength there must
be goodness and nobility within, that if nurtured..... But it does not
exist. Takers and users, they plunder our hearts and our bodies, then
throw us to the dogs."
"Then," asked Mary gently, trying hard not to upset her. "He didn't
actually rape you?"
"Aye, rape he did, though not in the sense that fear casts the
word---alone in some barren place, far from help. But I said it was
not willingly I took him to my bed, and it's the god's truth. He would
come to my room of an evening, and letting himself in---he held keys
to every room in the house, and none were spared---he would.....
"This is a hard thing for me to tell you, girl. He forced himself on
me, and at times I struggled, or even cried out, until a cuff or sharp
threat silenced me. And yet, strange to say. . .after the incestuous
horrors of my father's house, it was a kind of cleansing, purging
pleasure to be so used, so long as I believed that somewhere, in the
depths of his heart, he loved and cared for me.
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