I'd had chance enough for suitors if I wanted
them. But I did not, could not think to put myself through such pain
again. And though I loved them well enough for the simple,
hard-working folk they were, but for my John I never met one as
stirred the embers of any true romantic feeling. Of course the men of
the distant gentry wanted no part of me, a dowerless widow who had
shamed her family and married beneath her class. They were not all so
heartless, and I kept a good deal to myself. But the truth remains
that none ever cared enough to overcome the obstacles, and learn what
lay hidden in my heart.
"So the years went by and I found myself at thirty. My mother had
died, and my brother taken Anne for a wife, who had borne him a child.
So at last I swallowed my pride, and thinking to be useful, went back
to the big house that still haunted my dreams. Both Bryan and your
aunt were kind enough in their awkward, Christian way, and did what
they could to make me feel welcome and at home. But as Michael
continued to grow---yes, child, who else would it be?---they naturally
began to feel a tight bond of family that did not include me.
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