_
A much worse case than that of LEAR'S old man with a beard, who said
it was just as he feared.
* * * * *
"For all we know, Helen of Troy's best friends might have said,
'Helen has style and knows how to make the most of her good
points; but, honest, now, do you think she should have got the
apple?'"
_Evening Paper._
Certainly not. That's why Paris gave it to Aphrodite.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _First Ancient (with morbid fear of growing deaf,
breaking long silence)._ "THERE--IT'S COME AT LAST! YOU'VE BEEN
TALKING ALL THIS TIME AND I AIN'T HEARD A SINGLE WORD."
_Second Ancient._ "BAIN'T BIN TALKIN'--BIN CHEWIN'."]
* * * * *
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)
Really I think that _Rhoda Drake_ (MURRAY) must be the most
preposterously startling story that I have read for this age. It makes
you feel as if you had had a squib exploded under your chair at a
temperance meeting. After beginning placidly about persons who live in
South Kensington (and are so dull that the author has to fill up
with minute descriptions of their drawing-rooms), somewhere towards
three-quarters through its decorous course it plunges you head over
ears into such tearing melodrama as is comparable only to Episode 42
of "The Adventures of the Blinking Eye" at a provincial cinema.
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