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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, April 4, 1917"


My heart invariably bleeds
When I'm engaged upon these deeds,
And teardrops of the largest size
Fall from my heav'n-aspiring eyes.
But, though my sorrow is unfeigned,
Still discipline must be maintained;
And, when the High Command says, "Smash,
Bedaub with filth, loot, hack and slash,"
I do it (much against the grain)
Because, though gentle and humane,
When dirty work is to be done
I always am a docile Hun.
* * * * *
"It is proposed to collect from Nottinghamshire householders bones and
fat for the extraction of glycerine."--_Christian World_.
Poor "lambs"!
* * * * *
"Lady Companion Wanted, immediately, by young married woman; servant
kept, and there are no children: applicant must be well educated, well
read, well-bred, and of impeachable character."--_Provincial Paper_.
So as to give her employer something to talk about?
* * * * *
"'Baghdad' written large on the wall of the terminus in English and
Arabic reminded them that they had arrived.


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