ANOTHER FIVE POUNDS A WEEK WILL COME IN VERY HANDY,
SIR."
_Employer_ (_imagining him to mean a rise in salary_). "ANOTHER FIVE POUNDS
A WEEK! GOOD LORD!!"
_Clerk._ "YES SIR. LORD DEVONPORT, SIR."]
* * * * *
THE FLOWERLESS FUTURE.
(_Notes from a Society newspaper of the coming vegetable epoch._)
PERSONAL PARS.
We regret to learn that Lady Diana Dashweed has returned from Nice
suffering from nervous shock. During a battle of vegetables at the recent
carnival Lady Diana, while in the act of aiming a tomato at a well-known
peer, was struck on the head by a fourteen-pound marrow hurled by some
unknown admirer. There is unfortunately a growing tendency at these
festivities to use missiles over the regulation weight.
* * * * *
A daring innovation was made by last Wednesday's bride. One has become so
accustomed to the orthodox cauliflower bouquet at weddings that it came
almost as a shock to see her holding a huge bunch of rich crimson
beetroots, tied with old-gold streamers.
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