They think I am cold and heartless,
because they have taught me to restrain my warmest feelings; they
have turned me back upon myself, they have forced me to shut up in
my own heart, its bitterness, its prayers for affection, its pride,
its sorrow. They have made me selfish, disobliging, and
disagreeable, because I am too proud to act as if I would beg the
love they are so careless of bestowing. And yet, why am I so proud
and so bitter? I was not so at school; then I was gentle and gay;
then I too was a favourite; they called me amiable. I am not so now.
Then I dwelt in an atmosphere of love, only the best impulses of my
nature were called out. Now--oh! I did not know I could so change; I
did not know that there was room in my heart for envy and jealousy.
I did not know myself!"
Christine wept, until her head ached, and her forehead felt as if it
was swelled almost to bursting. "After a storm, there comes a calm,"
is a truism well known. In about half an hour, she was sleeping
profoundly, from mere exhaustion of feeling. But her face was pale,
and sad to look upon, even in her sleep.
When Ann returned home, at a late hour, she glanced hastily at the
bed, to see if she had retired, and was sleeping.
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