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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 2, 1890"

"
* * * * *
Hats of the style of the earliest portion of the Saxon Heptarchy
will _not_, after all, be seen in the Row during this Season, though
several male leaders of fashion are stated to have given orders for
them on an approved model.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A WASTED EPIGRAM.
"WHERE IS THE EVENING _GAZETTE_, WAITER?'
"PLEASE, SIR, IT'S NOT YET _SEWN_."
"_SOWN_, SIR! IT OUGHT TO HAVE _COME UP_!"]
* * * * *
MINE AND THINE.
[In a recent case, a promoter of Gold Mining Companies
was asked if any of his Companies had ever paid a penny of
dividend. His answer was, "You cannot know much about gold
mines to ask such a question." He admitted, however, that he
himself had made some L50 000 out of them. "This," he said,
"is not profit; it is the realisation of property."]
Take a patch of land in Africa and multiply by ten,
Then extract a ton of metal from an ounce or two of sand;
Write a roseate prospectus with a magnifying pen,
Making deserts flow with honey in a rich and smiling land.
Take some crumbs of truth, and spread them with a covering of bosh,
And conceal them in a pie-crust labelled "Promises to pay";
Hide away all dirty linen, or remove it home to wash,
And then begin the process which the wise ones call "Convey."
Next collect a band of brothers, all inspired by one desire.


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