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"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 2, 1890"

He told me as he had seen all the great Otels of Urope
and Amerrykey, but he was obligated to confess, in his own emphatic
langwidge, that the Brighton Metropole "licked all creation!" I didn't
quite understand him, but I've no doubt it was intended as rayther
complimentary. He rayther staggered me by asking what it cost, but I
was reddy with my anser, and boldly said, jest exaoly a quarter of a
million.
He told me that, in his own grand country, he was ginerally regarded
as a werry truthful man, which, of course, I was pleased to hear, for
sum of his statements was that staggering as wood have made me dowt
it in a feller-countryman. For hinstance, he acshally tried to make
me bleeve that his Country is about 20 times as big as ours! Well, in
course, common politeness made me pretend to bleeve him, speshally
as he's remarkable liberal to me, as most of his countrymen is, but
I coudn't help thinking as it woud have been wiser of him if he had
made his werry long Bow jest a leetle shorter. He's a remarkabel
fine-looking gennelman, and his manners quite comes up to my
description. ROBERT.
* * * * *
A LYRIC FOR LOWESTOFT.
[Mr. HENRY IRVING is studying for his new piece at Lowestoft.]
[Illustration]
Henry Irving, will the Master feel the fierce and bracing breeze,
As you wander by the margin of the restless Eastern seas?
Save the seagull slowly swirling none shall hear the tale of woe,
Learn how dark the life that ended in the fatal "Kelpie's Flow.


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